Entry in the SJ Business Challenge.
A pudgy, overweight, shiny faced fat man, Flannigan is a relatively high powered magi, using most of his power in illusions and charm spells. He has owned many stores across the cosmos, moving from place to place in his tradesman. He has a pair of specially created flesh golems (though how he acquired them is unknown), which can both run a helm at an SJ of 3 in tactical combat, and normal speeds in normal space. He is a very lazy man, and is frequently found in his shop reading a book or eating yet more lunch.
He makes his money by selling magical items, however they are not the normal type. Typically, he first shows his browsers his "Rings of invisibility", selling for 1,000 standard gp a piece. Of course, he doesn't tell them that upon the command word being activated, the rings themselves turn invisible (however, 25% of these rings make the users finger or hand invisible as well). Such rings do not become visible again until a command word is spoken, and cannot be removed without a remove curse spell at any rate. The command word to turn them invisible is "Fabulous Flannigan's Sell only quality", and the command word to turn the rings back to normal is "but we do accept NO returns". The second command word is NOT written on the ring. They can be revealed through a true seeing spell, however, as they are written invisibly on the outside of the ring.
Many such silly items pervade his stocks, and he is only 5% likely to have anything even remotely useful. All of the items below are cursed, requiring remove curse etc to be removed from (or to prevent returning to) the owner. The following are typical items:
Studded in beautiful, but fake, gems, these collars are said to control flea infestation upon a canine, or even any other animal. Fleas are attracted to the dog by a magical charming, unbeknown of course to the buyer, and controlled into infesting the animal. After two weeks, they will breed enough to leave and spread among close by beings (again, controlled to do this).
Supposedly opening portals automatically upon reaching the edge of a crystal sphere, these items are permanently fixed to the prow of the ship. Upon reaching said condition, they open all the doors on the ship.
Sending the wielder into a bloodthirsty berserk rage, attacking the closest living being, or wall if there are no appropriate beings available. These are of +5 enchantment.
These brooms being automatically cleaning anything of ill repute from the decks (including those below) of a ship, when activated. Unfortunately things of ill repute are things Flannigan deems of ill repute. Such are examples.
This toe ring makes the wearer smell better, useful for large stinking animals/humanoid races with strange bathing habits. Unfortunately, it is strong enough to be smelt half a mile away in an open wind, and smells so nice it has a mouthwatering effect upon large creatures such as Dragons, Manticores, and especially Tarrasques, who will stop whatever they are doing to find the sumptuous source of the smell.
When activated, this cloak unravels from the wearers neck and flies away at a rate of 24 (A). it flies directly away from the previous wearer until it reaches a distance of 10 miles, and then flies back to the wearer. It hides until such time as they are in a dangerous combat, and then leaps out, surprising the person by wrapping around their head and effectively blinding them to whatever danger they may be facing, so they don't have to be scared.
This spear, when thrown, does exactly what it says, returning to the opponents hand. If the hand is not in the exact position as it was when the spear left it (including height and distance from the persons chest), it will impale itself either in their arm, chest, or leg.
Flannigans stores have a permanent illusion and metamagic spell of his own creation in effect (cast at level 8 of ability), misleading any attempts at identification of items within them. It prevents any cursed items from being detected as such, and makes any item looking dull or tarnished to be bright and shiny.
All the items in his stores (except the 5% of useful items) are cursed, and must be treated as such. Typically, the command words are the same as the invisibility ring given, but may vary from item to item. The "off" command words may be discovered by the 8th level spell "Analyze Dweomer", if cast by a lv 18 or higher mage. It reveals these command words as a by-product of the magic. Flannigan does this only because people who have enough power to do this, he does NOT want coming after him to have items removed (lowly ones he can deal with). All of flannigans items curse's do not come into effect until the SECOND time the item is used, they work perfectly as they should the first time (or even the second on the odd occasion)
Flannigan himself has a permanent contingency type spell upon him that he be teleported from any location to that of his ship, should anything dangerous happen (ie a backstab, someone swings at him with a sword etc.) This is not actually contingency, but a 9th level variant called "Saved upon chickenfeathers". It prevents most but the most powerful of opponents from even getting near him.
Flannigan is a level 24 enchanter. He is 35 years old, and weighs roughly 450 pounds. He is human, with a shaved bald head, and flamboyant purple clothing. He talks with a high voice, and makes many glances at good looking human males (charisma 15+ will notice him out of the corner of their eyes staring at them etc)
Fabulous Flannigan's stores have appeared in nearly all the spheres at some stage, usually following a pattern spreading out enough so that people at one port may not remember him by the time he comes through next. He flees from a shop more often than he closes one, typically followed by an angry mob of ripped-off customers with cursed items, and thus he keeps all money in a small bag of holding around his neck, which settles in the folds of his large purple flowing robes.
He carries no weapons or items of interest apart form gaudy jewellery, and garish clothes.
Note that prices are not given as Flannigan will judge roughly what the pcs can afford, and charge them slightly more (allowing them to barter him down to what they can afford and giving him a large amount of money usually), and he wears a ring of truth specially created to not have the effect upon the wielder (ie he can lie his face off but knows when anyone else is)
Other suggested items to curse are the plate mail of etherealness (turning itself ethereal), sheet of smallness (never re-growing), sword of wounding (growing spikes through its hilt into the wielders hand), Trident of Fish Command (allowing fish to command the wielder), and the Pouch of coins (producing wooden and stone coins). DM's can think of appropriate things for the items to do the first few times.
