Entry in the SJ Business Challenge.
"Hello, let me introduce myself. My names Rodney and I'm immensely strong. When i were a lad i could lift up five nappies on the end of a shovel. The reason i never took up the martial arts is because I'm immensely fearsome and id probably kill anybody i came into contact with. I was phenomenally strong. Pride and ego my lads, pride and ego is what makes the world rotate. And everybody knows the centre of the universe is hudderssphere, that's why i don't live there anymore, i live in wildspace. its great, i think"
Traveling through the spheres in a hammership known as the Nautilus, there is a man known as the Sherrif. Rodney by name, he travels the Spheres with a group of bards, setting up performances for them and getting himself good and drunk. Balding, fat, and reeking of alcohol, he's nonetheless the "agent" of one of the most popular group of bards in space, known as the Nodding Donkeys. The Donkey's can pull a crowd from here to eternity, and are usually quite well received at any port of call they visit.
Rodney makes quite a good living off the group, having several wives (though no children) and a small fortune in gems hidden away somewhere. He maintains that he isn't in it for the money to any who will listen, but it doesn't hurt to be well off now does it. Rodney employs several large warriors as bodyguards for the bards, and one for himself. He protests that he is actually quite strong (though he is so immense he usually needs a hand getting up), and able to defend himself, but what agent would look good without his own personal bodyguard? Rodney's bodyguard is actually a flesh golem known affectionately as Eddie. The golem typically pilots the helm aboard the ship. He is always seen with some sort of a grimace or dark look upon his face, and has his head held together with a clasp (a result of the brain being removed a long time ago, and a magical item being placed there instead giving Eddie a strange personality far unlike a normal flesh golem, and powers of a 5th level invoker).
Rodney was the local Sherriff of a relatively unknown planet in huddersphere, which is somewhere near krynnspace. He arrested the band one day when they were drunk as skunks and creating havoc within his hometown. Unfortunately, they all became drunk as skunks as Rodney wasn't exactly a sober man, and ended up passing out on the local arch-mages garden. Seeing the "immense strength" (alcohol stench) Rodney had, the mage gave them a small spelljammer ship and non-magical helm, so that they could find better "gigs" (gardens to pass out on).
Much to the mages annoyance it ended up as the best thing that had ever happened to Rodney and the Donkey's, as they became very popular in wildspace taverns. They had song after song, and told tale after tale, that the fans couldn't get enough of them, and Rodney (who had wisely made the group sign a contract) soon ended up filthy rich.
Those in the Donkey's are not actually all bards. The group always consists of Bruce (F5), Janick (B6), Adrian (B7), Nicko (F4), and a few others who leave the group for small periods. The only member of the group who does not resurface occasionally is known as Blaze (Enchanter, 6), who was accidentally killed by Eddie when his singing aggravated him. There are also normal crew members aboard the ship, and the two fighters who serve as the groups bodyguards (both level 7 fighters).
The Sherrif of Huddersfield and the Nodding Donkey's travel from sphere to sphere making performance after performance, and increasing their wealth incredibly quickly. The IEN, however, seems to think they are smugglers, and the scro have taken quite a disliking to them, and thus keep running them out of spheres left and right between themselves. Rodney is an optimist, however, and believes there are always fans out there. His favorite saying is "the sun shines all night".
Rodney is a lv 6 thief, who's skills focus upon gambling (or mroe to the point cheating) and personal skills (ie crowd working etc). He has a charisma of 16 (regardless of his constant alcohol stench), but is unfortunately thinks a lot more of himself than is true, and tends to put people off after a while. He continually stocks hsi larder with baked beans and barrels of larger, making him one of the most unfit people in all the known spheres (The Donkey's prefer to stock their own food and drink).
Note: Please note that the Nodding Donkey's is a name Iron Maiden (the heavy metal band) use, and that Rodney is actually a manager (though i am unsure if he is the current one as all my cds were stolen recently). No offense is meant in any of this material, it was actually written while listening to Sherriff of Huddersfield, which I personally believe is a tribute to Rodney Smallwood. Anything that could possibly be construed as infringing any copyright material is certainly not meant as such, but moreso in a tribute to a very wild band and their funky manager. For anyone wishing to visit the Iron Maiden site go to www.ironmaiden.co.uk where you will find a few nice pictures of the band and Eddie (who is the bands mascot).
